First Week Studying Abroad

I want to start off saying this blog is a brutally honest place for me to share my thoughts and feelings as I navigate life the next four months. Everyone has a different experience, and I am mainly writing this so I can look back in a few months and see how far I've come!

So. It's been a full week since I packed my life into two suitcases and a carry on and moved to another country. It has been.... extremely difficult. I'm not a person who loves to go out of their comfort zone, and I HATE change. I was so excited on the plane and once I landed, but waking up the next morning was awful and I sat in my bed and cried.

I'm studying abroad at Sant'Anna Institute in Sorrento, Italy for 4 months (January-May). Italy is beautiful so far, but it has been raining for several days, so much so that our apartment and the city flooded. My roommates and I have resorted to watching Italian cartoons on the TV in the kitchen since we cannot explore in the hail and thunderstorm. Sorrento is a very touristy city, but it's hard to be here when it's not tourist season because nobody is here and no shops are open. We are basically struggling until mid-March when finally the sun comes out. I have lots of trips planned for the next coming weeks, so I'm trying to fully immerse myself into the Italian culture so that I feel a little less homesick. I also don't want to be in Sorrento where it's constantly raining because it's not contributing well to my mood at ALL.

People say there are stages to homesickness. You have the initial honeymoon phase, where everything is perfect and you feel on top of the world. Next, you start to relapse and feel homesick, like you made the wrong choice and are trying everything to come home. Then, you have a redemption period, where you feel as though you can do this and nothing can ever get in your way. For me, I feel each of these emotions in a span of fifteen minutes. I love it here, then I miss my home tremendously, then I am reminded that I can do this and get through it, and then the cycle repeats. I have been keeping myself as busy as I possibly can to avoid spiraling, but sometimes it gets hard to stay occupied (especially when it's raining and we're confined to our apartment). I go to every activity the school puts on and talk to random people to feel a sense of belonging, and I do... in the moment. Then, I come home and feel as though I can't do this, I can't be here, and I need to go home because I'm not strong enough. Everyone has been saying that the first two weeks are the hardest, and I hope they're right because I can't live like this for fifteen more weeks.

With all this being said, I feel incredibly lucky to have this opportunity. I know there are lots of abroad students who have things a lot worse than I do, i.e., they are abroad for four whole years and can only go home on winter break. Also, I am in one of the most beautiful places in the world with numerous opportunities knocking at my door. I'm praying everyday and trusting God that I have the strength and courage to have the best four months of my life. Everything is still really hard and overwhelming, but I am trying to stay positive and take things one day at a time.

For anyone looking into studying abroad or any of my friends who are currently studying abroad, these feelings are normal, so I have been told. Let's just hold on and see what each new day brings. In the end, this is our biggest challenge, and I know we would regret if we went home. Enjoy the opportunities, cherish the little things, look forward to trips we have planned, and remember: it's okay to feel, to cry, to spend some time alone. We can do this.